Ronald Reagan center director: How to talk politics with family, friends and neighbors, without losing them

A recent poll found that more than a third of all Americans are estranged from a relative, either a sibling, parent, child, grandparent or grandchild. Another study found that a third of Americans have had relationships with friends, family members, or romantic partners end over political disagreements. Too often, the acrimony of national politics bleeds into everyday life, turning our relatives and friends into political adversaries rather than the people who know us best.

Yet we shouldn’t run from disagreement. We just need to do it better. Civil discourse is a habit.

Like learning to shoot a free throw in basketball or playing the violin, civility takes practice. But how do we practice it? A new handbook on civility offers a simple framework that helps you develop civil discourse skills.

The book’s principles outline what to settle before a conversation starts, how to hold it steady once it does, and how to disagree without walking away. Here’s how to put them to use. What to Settle Before You’re In The Thick Of a Disagreement The work of civility starts long before anyone raises their voice.

To prepare for a tough disagreement, stay humble and remember that you could be missing something. Hold your views with openness and the recognition that what you know may be incomplete or out of date. Others may see what we cannot.

Establishing this ahead of time helps lower the temperature of disagreement when it arises. Remember that intellectual humility is a tool for discovery; we can’t learn if we think we already have all the answers. On the other hand, humility doesn’t prevent you from having strong convictions.

Consider outlining your non-negotiables in advance of a difficult discussion. Ask yourself: What do I value and want to protect? What kind of person am I?

For those convictions your conscience won’t let you budge on, think of how you can express them honestly and clearly. Civil disagreement doesn’t mean abandoning strong beliefs or backing down from a debate,